Joxi / Neil
<infobox type="Character"> <title source="name"/> <image source="image">
</image> <group> <label>Aliases</label> <label>Relatives</label> <label>Affiliation</label> <label>Occupation</label> </group> <group> <header>Biographical information</header> <label>Marital status</label> <label>Date of birth</label> <label>Place of birth</label> <label>Date of death</label> <label>Place of death</label> </group> <group> <header>Physical description</header> <label>Species</label> <label>Gender</label> <label>Height</label> <label>Weight</label> <label>Eye color</label> </group> <group> <header>Appearances</header> <label>Portrayed by</label> <label>Appears in</label> <label>Debut</label> </group> </infobox>Joxi (also known as Neil) is a sharkboy/catboy who serves as an Admin of Garfcord and likes Garfield a lot. They run the official Garfposting Channel and co-run the Meth Party along with Walter "Shalodey" Hartwell White and Aikesn. Joxi transplanted his consciousness to an Intel Pentium 3 PC on the 19th of October 2022. They run the official garfposting channel They came back. "I am still repulsed by the idea of Garfcord wiki" - Neil
Timeline and History
The beginning (6th-19th April 2022)
Neil joined Garfcord on April 3rd, 2022, but only became active after the first Garfpost on April 6th. On that day Lemon Demethe, the version of methamphetamine with lemons and piss added. Neil also established his username, based on the musician Neil Cicierega (known better as Lemon Demon)
Neil joke time
The following day, April 7th the first Neil joke was made:
a woman comes into a bar and asks the bartenders sir do you have beer the man responds woman you are pregnanto woman screams give me meth and beer bartender bartender dont give woman has miscarriage
On April 10th the miscarriage theme of the jokes was banned by 1984 moderators, prompting the punchline to be replaced with lethal cancer
fat woman stands on weight machine and number so long its phone number and woman says i have child fuck you machine gets angry and has a DIES OF LETHAL CANCER
A day later cancer jokes were also banned and replaced with the final form of Neil jokes with the punchline being hemorrhoids
an orphan walks into his parents bedroom and falls down (it doesnt exist(he doesnt have parents(hes an orphan))) and gets hemorrhoids
To this day, around 900 Neil jokes were published and they are still written every day.
The Sauling
On April 9th Neil recieved The Saul role which made him a member of the famous Saul Council and was a pretty cool unique colour
The early meth empire
The original meth empire begun shortly after Neil started being active, with the 4 original members being Saul, Janeshifter, Turtlemonger and Koi. A pound of Lemon Demethe was given to every Garfcord user as part of a social programme.
Demethe was originally cooked by just Neil with Koi joining in soon. Saul became a member shortly after due to his username (Saul Goodman). TurtleMonger and Janeshifter joined later, creating the whole power hierarchy with Neil being the (presumably) main person and cook, TurtleMonger being the manager and owner of everything, Koi and Saul being the salesman and Jane being the main cook (She could spontaneously create meth at will due to her godly powers).
On April 10th a new product, the Miscarriage Meth was introduced which caused a lot of controversy and caused the great miscarriage joke ban.
Neil went around the Garfcord channels selling the meth to various people using different forms of marketing in every place.
The middle ages (20th April- 12th May 2022)
Promotion to helper
On the 20th of April, 2022 PsychicCellar gave Neil the helper role with no permission from anyone else. Despite that, Neil was kept as helper and became one of the most active staff members, despite that he was kept as helper for that period
Shortly after recieing the helper role Neil got his iconic color role made by Uamnor. At first it was just called "neil"
Turning Point Garfield
Main article: Turning Point Garfield
Turning point Garfield was the first ever political party in Garfcord, it wasn't related to any actual election, instead serving as a anti-government opposition. The party gathered members by asking other people in general chat, with the final member list before the party was abandoned being:
- ChildishAlbino (Supreme leader of excelency and worldliness)
- Goblinhog (presumably)
- Neil (Founder)
- InSanity (2nd in command)
- Turtlemonger (Head General)
- Flint/Jessie (Rat keeper)
- Plunko (Head of stupid)
- Vonok/Kate (Head Influencer)
Each party member had their own piece of propaganda parodying Turning Point USA posters, which included a nonsensical quote.
The party was secretly controlled by the government and served merely as a illusion of choice for the people of Garfcord. This was signified by the logo of the party actually being a loop, not a turn.
Furry Pipeline
On the 9th of May 2022 after many days of going down the pipeline Neil made a fursona which served as his first actual character.
The avatar was depicted multiple times in art made by dog Michael and Saul Goodman. It's currently unused but not forgotten.
Greg
On May 5th 2022 Goblinhog named Neil's round canary bird Greg, who became one of the icons of Neil. Greg is now a emoji often used by Ducky, represented in his circular form.
The Tobeslaf ban, activism
On May 10th Neil banned his arch nemesis, Tobeslaf with permission from big admin. As a prominent staff member Neil protested against many negative server changes like level bots or the removal of multiple stickers, roles and emojis for no apparent reason. Around this time many other helpers were promoted to mod despite being a lot less active than Neil for no apparent reason.
The dark ages (13th-19th May 2022) (Mild TW)
During this brief but important era the server went through a lot of drama and nearly fell apart, with Neil staying through most of it. (Its TW and i dont want to mention it tbh)
During this time a lot of prominent members left and Neil protested by stopping Neil jokes and siding with people against the new owner. On the day before the revolution Neil conspired with many other members and was almost demoted from helper, however, a day later on May 20th the revolution happened giving the server into the hands of Luna and starting a new era for Neil.
Post-revolution (20th May- July 7th 2022)
Promotion to Mod
Right after the revolution on May 20th Neil was finally promoted from helper to mod, which gave him a lot more power over the server. A lot of new emojis were added by him etc.
The new era for Lemon Demethe
On May 20th Walter "Shalodey" Hartwell White appeared out of nowhere and started selling low quality "hygienic'" blue meth on historic demethe territory. Neil went after him pretty quick, beggining the war between the two great empires. Walter changed his name to Wanda after Michael gave him the she/her role. Wanda accused Neil of defamation due to Neil insulting her product and sued him, which started the first-ever Garfcord court case.
Neil vs. Wanda White Defamation trial
On the 23rd of May the trial begun in General, quickly moved to the #court channel. Lovebirby was the judge, Titus was the bailiff, Wanda was the plaintiff, represented by Ghostsaul and Rat and Neil was the accused represented by defendant Koi and Queen Amber. The accusations against Neil were: "My client was promised a helper role that was not delivered, Neil is producing unsafe and copyright infringing meth and has committed psychological warfare and defamation.". Neil defended himself against those accusations with "I am simply trying to protect my business against a threat of bankruptcy. I regularly make sure my body is healthy and the bacteria dies in the later parts of the cooking process. Many tests have shown my methamphetamine is sterile anr clean of any bacteria". After being asked if it's the proper procedure Neil proved all equipment is dissinfected with isopropyl alcohol. Furthermore, Neil proved Wanda's meth is merely dirt presented as meth and that the image saying "otherwise" states his arguments otherwise. Neil and Wanda were asked to turn in meth samples for examination and Neil was accused of adding urine to the product, which was overruled due to the Garfcordian constitution stating that "it is legal to sell or use bodily fluids as a way to enchance consumer products".
The case ended with Lovebirby proclaiming it to be a mistrial, however, Wanda and Neil came to a agreement in private.
The Blue Demethe era
On May 25th Neil and Wanda merged their businesses and recipes, creating the radioactive Blue Demethe. That iteration of the meth empire didnt last long, however. TurtleMonger, the manager of Lemon Demethe turned against both Wanda and Neil nearly killed both of them. Neil and Wanda defeated Turtle and ran away together with nothing left but the old decreipt RV which they used to start their empire and make it flourish yet again, but it wasn't all that nice
Neil and Wanda often argued about many things and nearly destroyed everything multiple times, with Neil temporaily sizing complete control over the empire because of Wanda accidentally cooking Neil's canary bird- Greg.
They ended up sorting it all out, though.
Garfposting
On 22nd of May, 2022 and the 48th day of the garfposting Neil published his first garfpost. 2 days later, on day 51 Neil published another garfpost and started the fishing arc, which made him THE garfposter of garfcord. To this day, mostly just Neil garfposts every single day. One of the greatest garfpost arc was the Garfield-Refrigerator war which ended with the Garfield Watermelon tank blowing up the Zhongnanhai and liberating the Republic of China.
Garfield Gets Real
On 28th of May Neil streamed the lovely movie Garfield Gets Real was streamed on Garfcord Movie Night for the first time. The movie gathered a big fanbase of people, especially attracted to the characters of Wally (shown on picture) and Eli. A whole splinter server, Wallycord was created for Garfield Gets Real and Wally fans. Neil and Straw streamed the movie around 17 times in various ways and languages (as of 28th October 2022).
Bonita, Wally's wife is considered the main enemy of GCU (Garfield Cinematic Universe) fans and hated by Neil.
Realpipe
On the 26th of may Neil added the :realpipe: emoji, which at first didn't gather much attention. Merely 2 hours after its creation PsychicCellar, the big admin wanted to remove the emoji becuase it was "unused". Neil pointed out how new the emoji is causing chat to spam :realpipe: in defense of the great emoji. Psychic decided to not remove it and the emoji is still in the server, commonly used by Neil and Straw.
On May 29th, a day after the Garfield Gets Real movie night Neil streamed the "the Lasagna Cat pipe video stream", which gathered a much smaller audience than the movie night a day earlier but still had a pretty big viewership. A lot of :realpipe: emojis were sent during the stream.
Morbesties for life
On the 30th of May Neil called Straw morbestie for the first time, they still are morbesties and refer to eachother as such to this day.
Music VC cult
On June 14th 2022 the Music VC cult was (officialy) founded by Neil with Lia, Plunko, Straw etc. The 2 anthems of music VC cult were established on that day: 300mb and Pee Wee Inc. by Neil Cicierega.
The music VC cult still gathers somewhat often, with 300mb still remaining it's anthem.
Boiled Onions
On the 7th of July after many days of Neil's boiled onion joke going on Neil boiled an onion and showed the results live on general chat. The onion turned out very wet and ended up being thrown out.
The rotating topic channel was also used as #boiled-onion-discussion where Neil wrote many songs about boiled onions with the most well known one being:
This is my home
Probably cost more than all boiled onions
Still I'm alone
No one to boil
With me in my boiled onions
Or my boiled onions, or my boiled onions
Some boiled onions, they make people boil
Make them onion
Some boiled onion, mine boiled onionoesn't
Intrigue the boil
No one will boil in my onion boiling pot
No one
[Chorus]
They run away
It never ends
And all I have
Are garlic friends
[Verse 2]
So beautifully carved
Out of boiled onions
Still I'm alone
All they can do
Is boil the onions from the onion boiling room
I presume that everyone's mad
Just tonight
The boiling I had was a delight
But nobody came
It must be their fault, who else can I blame?
No one
[Chorus]
They run away
It never ends
And all I have
Are garlic friends
The onions I boil
Do not impress
The outside world
It hurts me, yes
[Outro]It can get lonely (Lonely in my boiled onion channel)
Yes, it can get lonely in my boiled onion channel
They run away
It never ends
It can get lonely (Lonely in my boiled onion channel)
Yes, it can get lonely in my boiled onion channel
When all I have
Are garlic friends
The song's lyric "When all i have are garlic friends" is still commonly used as a joke in the server.
The Renaissance (July 7th- August 11th)
Shark Boy
After the boiled onion incident Neil wanted to change his image a bit, and chose a random furry image from his gallery which happened to be art made by @sh_4rk. Neil liked that pfp a lot and kept it forever, to this day Neil uses art made by sh_4rk for his pfp's and he is considered a shark by many of the Garfcord members.
Demethroxin
On 10th of July, 2022 Walter and Neil had their biggest argument yet, which led to most of the meth empire being destroyed and them almost killing eachother. The argument ended with them finally coming to a agreement and going back to cooking as usual, when Walt went to pick up cooking ingredients the lab exploded (due to explosives Walt planted just in case, they were ignited by accident). Neil died in the explosion, along with the whole lab falling apart with not much left. Walter found leftover demethe near the lab and spilled it on Neil's body, which miraculously brought Neil back to life. After noticing what happened Neil pointed out they don't have to cook meth anymore, and instead could use the great powers of blue demethe as legal medicine.
This way, Blue Demedical was founded and the company started mass producing uranium-infused meth and benzene pills that claimed to cure many ilnesses, bring back the deceased, extend lifespans up to 304 years and make life greater and happier. As per walt:
Demethroxin is a revolutionary new medicine which can bring people back to life, even if they are fully braindead, and regardless how long they've been dead. It is made by Blue Demedical, a company which is dedicated to finding new ways to help people. The recipe for Demethroxin contains Uranium-235 and methamphetamine, which are both very powerful substances. Demethroxin is avaliable in most pharmacies, and everyone can buy it.
On 11th of July information started circulating about how Demethroxin might actually not be a miracle cure for death and be somewhat harmful but it was quickly shut down by Neil and Walt sending out death squads against anyone spreading the info and issuing a press statement.
Promotion to Head Mod
On the 22nd of July 2022 Neil was promoted from Mod to Head Mod by Titus, shortly after that Neil made the new icon for Head Mod because the the old one was ugly and he "hated with with a burning passion".
The election, LCOM
Main article: Leftist Capybaras on Meth
When the 2022 August Garfcord Election election chat started Neil immidiately joined and made a party, the Cool Hat Party which existed with only one member for a few minutes. The party was abandoned then and Neil briefly joined the Ellis Swag Party, after another few minutes joined The G.L.O.N.K party (Leftist Party that will be Coup'd by the CIA). After that he settled on reviving Turning Point Garfield, but none of it's original members were interested in participating and only Senator Pisstrong joined. The early election turned out to be very chaotic and Neil quickly abandoned TPGF yet again, instead creating the Meth Party with Walter "Shalodey" Hartwell White. The Meth Party made some propaganda and merged with Chloe's Red Capybaras party. COM quickly gathered a lot of support, with Neil being one of the leaders.
Neil was one of the people who decided to merge again, this time with the Leftist Party, creating the final form of the party: The LCOM, for which Neil made a lot of propaganda.
The election caused some drama for Neil, he was accused of making propaganda directly attacking other parties and making up non-sensical strawmen, that pushed Neil to make propaganda more oriented on policies rather than other parties.
Neil's participation in the elections itself caused some drama, as Neil was in a posiiton of power on the server and, along with Chloe caused many accusations to circle around about how the party was ran by monarchists who work against the interest of people. To combat these accusations Neil made many pieces of propaganda about how the party has many great ideas for the server and it was decided to put Walt and Ellis, regular server members, as the candidates of the party.
Neil also negotiated the absorption of the Tom Scott Alliance and made a lot of propaganda promoting the shared ideas between Ellis Party and LCOM which led to these two eventually merging.
Promotion to Admin
On the 8th of August 2022 after Neil briefly left the server he was promoted to Admin, along with TurtleMonger and Devil in Disguise becoming head mods.
It's like keep a leapord away from it's apples
On August 8th Neil recieved a Reddit DM from a user mistaking him as staff on another server, which went like this:
"I really appreciate my fellow garfers and would really appreciate an unban and second chance if that's possible like i literally live for garfield and my fellow garfers you feel me? its like keep leapord away from its apples. Anyway my discord tag is [REDACTED]"
The message, especially the "Its like keep a leapord away from its apples" part became a meme on the server for a few days, still being referenced sometimes.
The Garfpost drama
On August 11th, after garfpost day 129 (which was a @everyone ping, as always) the complaints about the ping summed up, which led to Titus changing it to a @everygarf ping instead after pressure from Chloe and a lot of other people. Despite it being a pretty minor change Neil got rather angry about it, and along with the fact he was on vacation with very limited internet access he left the server. The situation was pretty harsh (though it got sorted out and Neil apologised rather quick) but he didn't rejoin for some time.
Absence of Neil (August 12th-August 17th)
On August 12th, a day after the Garfpost drama Neil left the server for 5 days. This was rather long considering how silly the reason was, those 5 days were rather uneventful
The Modern era (August 17th-September 21st)
Train sink incident
Reddit trolling
Neil Adventures
Public Transit
Breaking Bad RP, Fall of Blue Demedical
The contemporary era (September 21st 2022-January 11th 2023)
Leukemia Hut (Reddit trolling, act II)
The Garf Files
Meilifs
[FULL DIGITISATION]
Resaulisation
The Final Era (January 11th 2023-February 17th 2023)
The Joxxing
On February 17th 2023 after briefly joining on a alt called Joxi, Neil officialy changed their name, marking the end of Neil
The Joxinning (February 17th 2023-Today)
After joining on a alt called Joxi for a few hours and pretending to be a different person Joxi's main account (Then named Neil) officially became Joxi. The pfp changed to Homestuck, color role from piss yellow to dark green and Joxi slowly changed all their names and such everywhere (except r/voles, where they rename Neil Volerega)
Joxi Joke Time
Neil Joke Time (Trademark of Joxicorp Inc.) was renamed Joxi Joke Time and the signature hemorrhoids were changed to tuberculosis and mesothelioma. Joxi Jokes are still released in the same way.
Joxi Biden
Joxi is a member of the Biden family, 9th Incumbent Admin Joxi Biden.
Trivia
- Joxi is also Polish
- They really like Garfield. A real garfhead overall
- They became staff just to get image perms in April
- The Sims 2 is the first game they ever played